Soliloquy in Monochrome‏: The Problem with the Black Sheep

 There never fails to be one of them in every class:  the quiet girl or boy who sits alone in a corner, their presence so imperceptible that they almost seem to wear a cloak of invisibility. At social outings, they linger at the edges of the chatter; should an opinion be raised, it’s nothing more than a ghostly sighing through the nearby trees, lost amongst the clamor of everyone else. And when one looks back at a class photo, there comes the inevitable question: “Just who is this person?”

 It’s not uncommon to ostracize certain members of the class; in fact, I daresay it is an inalienable trait of society at large, or perhaps (if I may be so bold to claim) even a part of human nature. One only has to look at the Holocaust, the recent ethnic riots in Kyrgyzstan and the countless other acts of discrimination that has besmirched human civilization throughout history to note the irony that surrounds Racial Harmony Day. The act of discrimination is not solely based on our prejudice against another person’s race, ethnicity, religion or nationality; it could be just that you don’t like the face of the person just standing beside you. People are not praised for their individuality; in fact they are condemned for their lack of conformity.

Of course, the word to be used here might not be that harsh, but the evidence remains. If you do not ‘click’ with the group, you’re ‘out’. It’s as simple as that. “That’s the way society works, has always worked,” one could easily say, something that (I regret to admit) is true. Naturally, the choices left to the unfortunate ones are few, that is, either you try your best to imitate the ‘in’ crowd and hope to fit in or let the situation stay as it is. However, even then there are obstacles. Try to act too chummy with them too soon and you’ll be labeled as ‘pushy’ and your efforts will be met with open derision and rejection. Be too afraid of talking to others and you are called ‘anti-social’; eventually no one will make any effort to invite you to join them. The only legitimate way is to be ‘invited’ to the clique, something that has no guarantee of ever happening. Loners walk this tightrope daily with the ever-persistent threat of slipping. Then there is always the icing on the cake: outright bullying and the more recent trend of cyber-bullying.

The future isn’t entirely bleak though; there are always kind souls (few as they may be) who are willing to take these people under their wing. In some cases, it may even be a matter of one’s fault for not being open to them, and not vice versa. Of course, let us also not forget the important people who are always available: our parents, siblings and even teachers who are always willing to lend an ear or comforting shoulder.

Some people are also actively seeking a solution to this problem. A recent article featured Ms Esther Ng, who won the Singapore Woman Award 2009, for her new book on bullying.  Apparently, she started campaigning against bullying after a survey in 2006 revealed that half of the 4000 primary and secondary school students surveyed were called names, laughed at or teased. Her attempts are certainly worthy of applause and it is encouraging to see that something is being done.

However, I can’t help but feel a sense of unease. Yes, bullying is certainly a major issue, but isolation from society and its effects can be equally harmful … is it not? Perhaps it is high time to start acknowledging this different breed of black sheep, before it is too late.

By: Wong Shu Min